Introduction
| Our First Meeting | Setting Goals
Recognizing Strengths and Resources |
For
many people, it's scary to think about seeing a therapist or counselor. There are many
understandable reasons for anxiety. Sometimes, people hesitate to call because they just
don't know what to expect. For that reason, I'll explain below what I tend to do in the
first few sessions. I'll also describe some of the underlying principles of my work. |
| More on fears about therapy>> |
My approach to working with people is positive and
strength-focused. It's important to acknowledge what is right in your life rather
than seeing only what is wrong. One also needs to be aware of one's strengths and
resources in order to change. A central premise of my work is that people always have the
tools they need, although they may have to learn how and when to use them best. |
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Introduction | Our First Meeting | Setting Goals
Recognizing Strengths and Resources |
| Our First Meeting |
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| Is that a fish in your ear? |
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When
I meet people for the first time, I try to get to know them as people, rather than simply
as symptom carriers or problems. I chat for awhile, gathering the basic information
I need, such as names, addresses, and phone numbers. I'll find out how people spend
their time--their work, school or hobbies. If I notice something interesting, I
might mention it. ["That's an intriguing fish you have in your
ear."] As I learn about whomever I'm chatting with, I'm also joining with them
to create a safe and comfortable place for us to do the work we are there to do. And there
is work to be done... |
Introduction | Our First
Meeting | Setting Goals
Recognizing Strengths and Resources |
|
Setting
Goals |
| As with any work, it's good
to know what one hopes to accomplish. Therefore, early in the process, I ask about goals.
Often people don't have specific goals--they just know that things aren't working. I
pay attention to how things will be when the work is finished, rather than focusing only
on problems. Asking questions can further the goal creation process. |
 Questions I Use to Help People Formulate
Goals |
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What's bringing you here
today? How and why did you decide to seek help? |
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How will we know when
you've "gotten what you came for"? |
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What will be different
about the situation or the person/couple/family when we're done? |
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In
keeping with a positive, strengths-focused approach, I help people create positive goals.
For example, if the goal is expressed as "we will stop fighting," I'll ask what
they would like to do instead of fighting. One therapist and author, William O'Hanlon, whom I heard years
ago at a conference, suggested asking people to think about how they would look on a
videotape with no sound, 5 years after achieving their goals. Think about it. "I'll
be smiling. I'll move more quickly and lightly." [See More About Positive Goals.] Next, I invite people to identify their strengths
and resources, to help them reach their goals. |
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