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Coping Strategies |
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Coping Strategies |
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For Individuals | For Friends and Family of Sufferers |
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For Friends and
Families |
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Be aware of changes in behavior or worsening of symptoms. Share what you observe with the individual to help the person recognize the depression. If the person already knows they suffer from depression, then knowing that someone else notices their pain can help them feel validated and less alone. |
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Suggest professional help. Don't try to be a therapist--that can do more harm than good. |
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Educate yourself about depression. Understand that it is not a weakness or character flaw, but a very real ailment. |
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Be supportive and encouraging, and don't give in to discouragement. While continually taking care of yourself and knowing your boundaries and limits, offer the depressed individual consistent support, even if the individual tries to push you away. Silent support is important--but make sure the depressed individual knows you're out there. |
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Understand that the depression is not about you. You cannot heal someone else. Stop yourself from thinking "if only I had..." or "if I were a better friend...." These thoughts are counterproductive. Replace them with the reality that only the depressed person can make herself get better. Yes, relationships do matter, but your role is to support the recovery process, not cure the person. |
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Be willing to attend therapy with the individual. |
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If you haven't heard from the depressed person in awhile, check in on him/her. Make sure everything is ok. |
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Take jokes about suicide seriously, even if the jokes are about other people's suicide attempts. Seriously depressed individuals frequently make light of suicide. Often it's a call for help. |
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Take suicide threats seriously. Refuse to decide whether the person is serious. The individual needs to understand that suicide is not a manipulative tool and that you will take no chances. If the person is seeing a therapist, call the therapist and tell them of the suicide threats. If the individual is not in treatment, call 911 or a local hotline that handles suicide threats, or take the individual to the emergency room. With this serious attitude, you may save the individual's life and send the message that suicide should not be used to manipulate. |
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Encourage the individual to participate in group activities or to get involved in causes about which the individual feels (or used to feel) passionate. |
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Know your limits. You can't take care of someone else without first taking care of yourself. Allow yourself breaks from the situation to regain your "sanity." |
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Please don't minimize the depressed individual. You can't argue people out of it. Don't tell them or expect them to "snap out of it." If they could, they would. Don't say "you have so much to be thankful for, so just stop it," or "think of all the people who have it so much worse than you. You should be ashamed for all your self-pity." They probably already are. |
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If you have strategies which have helped you cope with the depression of a loved one, please share them with me. While I may not be able to list them all, I'll try to update this page with as many coping strategies as I can. |
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Comments, questions, or suggestions? Please, email me. |
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Depression
Home | Types | Symptoms | Stories | Coping | Resources |
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Jonathan P. Levine, CSW 2300 West Ridge Rd. Rochester, NY 14626 (585) 225-0330 jonathan@aquietvoice.com Updated on 06/23/2002 |
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